Mandhla's House Part 2

I don't have a picture showing the results of another day of working on the house, but I can tell you it's looking pretty good. We got the wooden boards on for the roof and started wrapping the sides with wire because that's what's going to hold up the mud to make the walls. I didn't actually do any work on the house because I went out with the group of people that did home visits, but those that stayed working on the house did a wonderful job.

We visited about 5 or 6 houses, each with at least one person that's HIV positive. The first woman can barely walk and she told us that she finds joy in the simple thing in life, but hanging up clothes after she has done laundry is difficult because she has to sit while she's doing it. The man we visited after that has TB and HIV. He doesn't really like to tell people about it because he knows it's his own fault that he's sick. Pendi says that he takes his medication and then gets a lot better, but then he goes back to his unhealthy habits and gets really sick again so he's caught in a destructive cycle. When we visited him he looked so thin his arms looked like pure bone and he told us about all the injections he has to take.

After that we visited a married couple that are the grandparents of one of the girls from the youth group. They are the most loving older couple I've seen in Haniville and they were so sweet to us. After that we passed by the house of one of the Gogos that works with us in the garden. She was so happy to see us and gave us all hugs, but then she told us she's really sad that we're only going to be there for one more week.

One of the next houses we visited was the house of a man that is HIV positive and he is in a wheelchair because he had a stroke a couple of years ago that left the right side of his body paralyzed. He could barely talk to us, but he was thankful that we came to visit him. He says he doesn't get any visitors, so it brought him a lot of joy to talk to us and to see us. We sang with him because he enjoys music and he tried singing along and clapped with the one arm he can move.

We also visited Henri, who I met when I drove around with Peni and Neils during clinicals. Henri is in a wheelchair and he doesn't talk anymore. It's not that he can't talk, he just chooses not to respond to anyone. Pendi says she saw him walking yesterday and he's physically better, but he's still unresponsive and didn't even look up at us, he just sat there completely still as we tried talking to him.

The last house we went to was Pendi's house and we met her daughter there. Pendi's house is one of the nicest I've seen in Haniville and her bed is full of stuffed animals.

After Pendi's house we took a taxi back up to Walk in the Light and I sat at lunch thinking about all we had seen. It's hard to digest it all and to make sense of it. The people we visited vary in ages and were both male and female. Every house was different and some were nicer than others, but they were all low-income houses. The families were all different because some lived with spouses, others with children, and others with relatives outside of their nuclear family. All the people we saw are affected with HIV because they are either HIV positive or they have a family member that has it or has died from it. All the patients, besides Henri who was unresponsive, were happy to see us and their families welcomed us openly into their home.

When we talked to the Gogos after the home visits they told us that they were very happy with us because we didn't make any funny faces when we saw their houses and we were always smiling at them. They also enjoyed that we sang songs at every house we went to and prayed for them. We were like the God squad.

After lunch we had the youth group meeting and there was a point when I realized it was our last youth group meeting with them and I wanted to cry. I can't believe our time at Haniville is almost over. We took pictures of them all because we have a guy named John in our group that's a photography major and has professional camera equipment and he offered to give them all professional pictures for free. Everyone came dressed in their best outfit and they were so excited for it. They had so much fun taking pictures with everyone and with a lot of different poses. They're all naturals in front of the camera.

It's the same with the children we see very day. As soon as they see a camera they want us to take a picture of them and they yell out, "shoot me!" I have to remind myself that "shoot me" means "take a picture of me" because sometimes I hear it and I just laugh.

While we were waiting for the youth to arrive there were a ton of kids hanging out at the playground that past APU students have built at Walk in the Light. One of the girls is about 3 years old and she likes to be carried by everyone. She wasn't wearing a shirt or shoes, but she had pink pants on and her hair is was short. She's the most adorable girl I've seen and as soon as she saw me walking towards her she put her arms out for me to pick her up. She laid her head on my shoulder for a while and I walked around with her. She was scared of some spiders hanging from a tree and I would joke with her and get closer to the tree until she started screaming. After getting tired of walking I sat down with her on my lap and, since she's only 3 and doesn't speak English yet, I said the only Zulu words I could remember, "ageko ofana noJesu", "there's no one like Jesus". As soon as she heard that she started singing the song and I sang along with her. Music is such a great way to break the language barrier.

I still don't know what that girl's name is and I don't have a picture, but I know I'll always remember her and I'll probably see her this next week so I can get a picture of her then. I also got some pictures of the youth whose names I do remember because I've been able to have good conversations with them. It's sad that I'll probably never see them again unless I come back to South Africa some day. I don't know if that will happen, but I really hope it does. The more I've gotten to know the people here, the more I've felt loved by them and the more God has shown me how to love others.

It's getting cold out because winter is coming and we were at a water park all day yesterday so I tried my best to not do anything that's going to get me sick. I don't want to miss out on my last week of service sites.

Mandhla's House Part 1

Brandon: Hey Sindy, how's it going?
Sindy: Pretty good, how's it going for you?
Brandon: Oh you know, just building a house, no biggie.
Sindy: Yeah no big deal.

The day was hot from the start and it reached a solid 33 degrees Celsius by noon, which is about mid 90s Fahrenheit. The past two days have been spent removing grass and shoveling dirt onto a pile until the ground was leveled. Today we carefully measured out where each pole would go and then dug holes for the poles. After placing them inside the holes we pushed dirt back in and pounded it down. It all sounds fairly simple and it's hard to imagine that the work you see in the picture above took two days to complete, but it did, and that's why Brandon and I were being sarcastic when we said it's no big deal to build a house.

We shoveled for two days because we basically removed a whole hill. When we first arrived at Mandhla's house, the front yard was 2 feet higher than it is now. We dug all of that out because it's the dirt we're going to use to make mud for the walls. Today we had a guy named Michael helping us measure where the poles should go. It took a whole hour to get the measurements right and to make sure we dug the holes for the poles deep enough. Also, we have to make sure the roof is tilted down towards the right because that's where the rain and wind hits harder so the poles on one side have to be higher than on the other side. The more accurate our measurements are, the sturdier the house will be. Packing down the dirt around the poles is also important because it holds the poles in place. We stood at each hole for about 20 minutes pounding down the dirt with a giant metal rod. The metal rod weighed a solid 20 pounds. Each pole is about 3 feet under the ground and is then surrounded by rocks, soil, rocks, and soil. Each time we added soil, we pounded it down some more. Above the ground, the poles are about 6'5'' feet high.

Brandon and I were being sarcastic in our conversation because, as I am slowly starting to realize, a lot of effort goes into building a house, even if it's just a simple mud house in Haniville. There's hard work involved, patience, perseverance, and strength. Our motivation is Mandhla because we know he's going to enjoy every corner of that house and we're excited to see it finished.

Diamonds and Dust

We went to see a musical at the Barnyard Theater called "Diamonds and Dust" and it was beautiful. The pictures don't do it justice and the soundtrack CD I bought is in no way the same as listening to those voices in person. During one song I actually got the chills from a lady that sang her heart out. Some songs made me want to cry and others filled me with so much joy I didn't know what to do with it.

The title is perfect and the speech the host gave towards the end really summed up the purpose of the musical. It was a musical that ran through the history of South African music and told the story of how this country has found diamonds in the middle of dust and how the people have responded to life through music.

South Africa is often called "The Land of Contrasts". That nickname makes more sense to me every day and I don't know how to respond to it. There's so much suffering, but there's so much joy. The gap between the rich and the poor is so obvious and there are all kinds of animals. You can watch the discovery show on sharks from a well-ventilated, fancy Durban hotel room one hour and then go out to the beach and watch those sharks the next hour.

It's only been two months, but it's felt like so long and, at the same time, it's gone by so fast. What am I going to do when I go home? How am I supposed to go back to a normal life after all I've seen and done here? Ali has been to South Africa before and she was sharing with us how frustrating it was to go back home because no one fully knows what you've been through. Even now that we're here and people ask us, "how's Africa?" none of us really know how to answer because there's really no simply response to that question.

As I reflected on that musical, I realized how difficult it is to explain to people that I see suffering every day. I can sit in a playground in Haniville with dozens of children that are smiling and hugging me, but then I realize that the scars they have aren't just from falling off the swing, they're scars caused by the HIV virus, scars that mean that child might not live past their teens. Monday morning some of the guys from Haniville came to our chapel and it was easy to see them as people that live a similar lifestyle as ours, but today I walked through Haniville and saw the houses those guys live in and I didn't know how to react to it. When they visit us they see the comfortable chalets, the indoor bathrooms, the easily available bottles of water, and the kitchen filled with food. When I visit them I see the houses made of mud, the outdoor bathroom that looks like a shed, the hose they drink from and fetch water from, and the small crops that provide them with meals.

When I explain this to others I know the first reaction is probably pity. There's that old saying when someone doesn't finish their food that goes, "there's starving children in Africa that would love to eat that", but the truth is they wouldn't love to eat that. They think our food is strange and they think Americans eating apples with peanut butter is gross. They like eating putu and bread. They like eating their food and they don't need pity. Sure, they need help, but they have great potential and, if they can just be given the right encouragement and education, they can be empowered to improve their communities every day. The answer to poverty is not charity and just because they live in poverty doesn't mean they don't have a reason to live. There is suffering, but there's so much joy. Every time I see those guys, they're making jokes and smiling. Snesh, Tesh, Jabula, and Sikhle have provided so much entertainment for us while we're in Walk in the Light because they're constantly making us laugh and they come up with dance moves that are ridiculous, but kind of impressing. Sindi and Sipho talk to us about how we don't need boys because girls can be single and still enjoy life and the Gogos have shown us that a community has to care for one another and always help each other out. The children have been so open and show us so much love that it's hard to say goodbye to them at the end of the day.

How can I explain to you what I'm seeing here and what I'm learning? How can I go back home and continue growing with what I've gotten out of this experience? Nelson Mandela says, "once you have tasted the waters of Africa, you will always be thirsty until you come back for more". My trip hasn't just been joyful. It's been horrible to have to deal with sickness, allergies, bugs and pestering monkeys, emotional tragedies through the suffering I see every day, and the overall stress of it all. I have days when I get so frustrated and I feel so helpless and selfish. My trip is too complicated to explain and it'll take me so much time to process everything, but it's been good.

I just ask for patience because when someone asks me, "how was Africa?" I'll probably just say good because I won't have the energy or the time to explain it all, but it's so much more than good.

Confronting Fatigue

I'm exhausted in every possible way at the moment. Between service sites, building relationships, clearing fields, battling sunburns, and writing papers, it's hard to find time to rest. I would say I'm happy the weekend is here, but I have something planned for pretty much every hour this weekend. I've been having so much fun, I'm finding God in new ways every day, and I'm getting to know so many wonderful people, oh yeah, and I might be building muscle from swinging a machete and shoveling dirt every morning in the field, but even positive time-consuming things can be exhausting and sometimes you just need a break.

My strength comes from the Lord and I think right now He wants to give me strength through sleep. I'm done for the day and I don't have breakfast until late tomorrow morning so I'm going to just sleep for at least 12 hours :)

David and Goliath

We thought we had finished clearing out the garden yesterday and pulling weeds, but we had only just begun our task. Today, we found out we had to clear out more of the field and pull out the weeds around the garden as well. We're clearing out a whole field and we've been chopping down trees with machetes and slashing grass every morning. After lunch we take some time to relax and then we meet with the community.

On Tuesdays and Thursdays we meet with the Gogos (the group of women who work in the field with us), on Wednesdays with meet with the junior youth kids that are from ages 5-13, and on Fridays we meet with the senior youth that are ages 14-mid 20s.

For the junior youth this week we planned a drama about David and Goliath. We played games with them and sang some songs. We didn't really know what to expect, besides maybe chaos because we heard there were up to 96 kids that came every week. When the first group came we went outside to meet them expecting them to be shy and planning on putting a lot of effort into getting them to feel comfortable with us, but we were completely blown away when they rushed toward us and gave us all the biggest hugs and told us their names and asked us for ours. All the kids were so friendly and they were so eager to be shown affection. At one point a young boy who only spoke Zulu clung on to my side and wouldn't let go. I just held him there and tried speaking some Zulu words, but the most I could do was smile and put my arm around him as he clung to my side. He stayed close to me the rest of the afternoon and wouldn't let me go when it was time for us to leave. When I finally made it clear that I had to leave I smiled at him and held his hand. He smiled back and kept holding my hand as I slipped away and he even held my finger for a while before I got in the bus and left.

It was so hard to leave them, I just wanted to spend all day giving them hugs and high fives. One of the games we played is called David and Goliath. The kids were Davids and they had to line up on one side of the soccer field. We were the Goliaths and we stood in the middle of the field. The point was for the kids to get across the Goliaths and to reach the other side of the soccer field. We cut our group in half and told each other to go easy on them because we didn't want all of them to get out easily, but when we said go we experienced possibly the scariest moment of our lives. In a matter of seconds there were about 50 kids charging towards us, screaming and moving so fast that we were overwhelmed and couldn't stop them from slipping past us. It was hilarious how much we failed at catching them and on the next round we had to start picking up kids and dragging them out, but even then it was hard to catch them because they just had so much energy.

Meeting with the Gogos has been fun because we work with them every day out in the field. We've gotten to know them more and we got to hear their stories and share our stories with them. They're women of all ages, but they're all so joyful. Today we made a list of their joys and struggles and it made me so happy to hear them say that Walk in the Light is their joy because it has given them hope and something to live for. A lot of people in Haniville have come to Jesus through Walk in the Light because it's a place where they can find love and hope. It's a place where they can find a purpose for their lives and where we can have some fun and worship God. I'm so happy to be a part of it and it's even better to think that, when I leave, Walk in the Light will still be there and there will be other volunteers to help. Walk in the Light also empowers the community to help themselves and to carry on the work themselves instead of just relying on outside help.

The days are going by so fast and I want to enjoy it all as much as possible before it's time to say goodbye. Even though I've only been here 2 weeks and I'll only be here for 2 more weeks, I know Haniville is a place and a community of people that I'll never forget.

Dance

I love hearing Zulu women sing and watching them dance. They look so joyful and they sing with such passion and strength.

We spent the morning at Walk in the Light helping some women in the garden. We had to pull out a bunch of weeds and encountered many species of bugs along the way. We used any tool we could find and worked most of the day without gloves so we got our share of blisters. We also had to watch out for the giant, sometimes poisonous, spiders that linger in the garden and for the scary-looking wasps that stung Emily's hand and made it swell twice its normal size. The weather report predicted a cloudy day with a possibility of a thunderstorm, but it was a lie because all day the sky was cloudless and the sun was beating down on us and making us sweat more and more with every root we pulled out.

Some of the guys that are living in the house next to Walk in the Light came over to help us. They're all around our age, so we've been able to get along with them better and it's been interesting to become friends with them. I introduced myself to one of them and said my name is Sindy. A couple of days ago they told us what our names were in Zulu, but I wasn't there so I didn't figure out what my name was. When he heard Sindy he asked what my English name was and I repeated Sindy and I looked at him with a confused expression and said I hadn't learned my Zulu name yet. After a while he laughed and told me Sindi is a Zulu name and he thought I was giving him my Zulu name. I asked Peni about it and she says Sindi means "saved" in Zulu. While everyone else got cool Zulu names like amehlo aluhlaza, I got the name Sindy, exactly like my English name, but I guess it's cool that my name means something in a different language too and they can actually pronounce it.

After lunch we met with the women who had been gardening and we had some time to just engage with them and to get to know them more. We played the game telephone, which is hard enough in English, but we played it in Zulu! Not only were we struggling to hear what the other person said, but we didn't know what the words meant so we probably just made up words along the way and we couldn't figure out how to click in a whisper so everyone could hear people clicking when it was their turn.

We also sang some Zulu songs and I felt them really touch my heart. Peni started off with a slow song that she sings and then we repeat. I looked around at the women's faces and I could see how tired they were from working in the sun. The work we had done is what they have had to do every day for years. I thought some of them looked sad and worn out and some just wanted something to smile at.

Pretty soon they were smiling because they picked up the pace in the songs and started singing a song we could clap too. We were all sitting in a big circle and some women really started singing out with the beautiful voices that they have. I have no idea how they make their voices echo so loudly, but they sing with such strength and volume that it sounds like it's coming straight from the heart. One woman got up and started dancing to the music. I wish I could explain the Zulu dance, but it has to be seen to truly be understood. They move their feet from side to side, always keeping the beat, and clap their hands. Then they sort of hunch down a little and move their shoulders with the beat. My favorite part is the kick. The Zulu traditional dance is centered around a kick that they do with one foot. While keeping the beat, they lift one leg straight up, as high up as they can, and then they slam it down at the sound of the drums or the clapping.

I had seen this dance before, but it had been from strangers. Today I saw women I knew dancing and then some people from our group joined in and tried to kick. Of course, they failed miserably, but we didn't judge them because it's hard to kick correctly while keeping the beat of the song. We let them laugh at us as we tried our best to follow their lead. In one song they were speaking about women rising up to dance and then men rising up to dance. It took us a while to figure out when the women should stand and when the men should stand, but we finally got it and we danced along with them. It was a joyful moment to be so confused trying to follow music in a different language and culture, but it was still music and it provided a foundation with which we could connect with these women and enjoy being alive together.

After singing we introduced an activity called the River of Life in which we told the story of our life and pointed out the high points and the low points. We paired up with the women and helped them draw out their life on a paper. Sometimes just listening can be a way of helping people, especially these women, because they go through so much and no one knows it. Hearing their experiences is moving for us and for them because they realize that someone does care and that they aren't unnoticed.

We're back at AE now (the campus where we live) and the thunderstorm is finally kicking in. I'm glad it didn't rain earlier because it would have kept us from working in the garden and it was truly an amazing day. Haniville is slowly making it's way into my heart and I can't wait to experience their community more.

Walk in the Light

We started working in Walk in the Light this week. The work was laid back because there wasn't much to do this week and we're waiting for some supplies to come in, but it was nice to slowly begin working in the community of Haniville.

When we first got there Pennile told us to split into groups of 5 because she could only take one group at a time to clinicals. After diving ourselves up, my group was chosen to go and we drove in the back of a Land Rover. We were picking up 3 people and giving them a ride to the local clinic and we weren't going to fit, so I sat in front inbetween Peni and Neils like a little kid because I was the smallest of the group. We drove around Haniville and then went to the clinic where we asked the nurses questions and found out more about the system. Some of the nurses asked us questions too and they were shocked when we told them health care wasn't free in the US.

While we were out, the rest of the group was sorting through clothes that we're going to give away and when we came back we all went for a walk. We walked to the house of a man called Mandla. Mandla is in a wheelchair and he's HIV positive and also has Tuberculosis. His house is made out of mud, but it's falling apart. After praying with him we left and Penni told us one of our projects is going to be to build him a new house.

After visiting other members of the community we went back to Walk in the Light and had lunch. After lunch there wasn't much to do so I took a 3 hour nap under the shade of a tree. Some people also napped and others played soccer.

When I woke up from my nap, it was time for the youth meeting. Walk in the Light has a church and the youth meetings are on Friday. The pastor decided to let us take charge of the meetings for these next four weeks. We played some games with the youth and then heard a devotion and sang songs in Zulu and English. There were about 40 people, 20 from us and 20 from them so it was really cool to all come together and talk about our lives. We're so similar despite the environments we've grown up in. A lot of the youth are going to college and they know every Beyonce song word for word. They all have such beautiful voices and can dance so well that it almost embarrassed me to worship along with them, but it was beautiful to see us coming together. They taught us Zulu songs and we taught them English songs.

I have a feeling that Walk in the Light is going to be a great learning experience, but it's also going to be a challenge physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

I Have a Dream

I have a dream that one day humans and monkeys can live together in harmony.

Francis asked us to write down our dreams today in class. We were supposed to think about things in our community here and dream about ways that we can improve. The most common dream among the students was: peace with the monkeys.

We moved class outside for a bit and caught a glimpse of a monkey going into a chalet. A couple seconds later we heard glass break. It had gotten to our tea jar and broke it. A couple students ran in to chase it out and opened the doors to let it go outside, but the monkey freaked out and was jumping all around trying to find a way out.

Two days ago I saw a monkey stand in front of the door to my chalet while I was trying to get inside. I stared at it for a while but showed that I had no intention to charge at it or to hurt it so, after staring at me for a while, it decided I wasn't dangerous and slowly moved to the side so I could pass and go inside. Maybe if we tried a nonviolent approach to the monkeys, they would stop bothering us so much.

It's funny that they're so cute, yet so angry. If only we could make peace with them and just pet them or watch them swing from tree to tree without having to worry about them charging at us or slapping our legs, which did in fact happen to someone last week. If I had one rand for every time we had to stop class because a monkey was trying to get in, I would have 100 US dollars.

With God All Things Work for the Better

God has really done a good job of tying everything in on this trip for me. It's amazing how well-thought out His plan is and how He guides us through life. There's no one else I would trust with the important decisions of life.

Francis Njoroge flew down from Kenya a couple of days ago to start teaching our class called Community Engagement. He's a very wise and energetic man and some of the concepts he's been teaching us these past two days have taught me a lot and have really prepared me for what I will be facing in the service sites for the next 4 weeks. The purpose of this class is to prepare us for the engagement we're going to have in the surrounding communities and to lead us through it as we reflect on what we see and as we practice building relationships and helping to build better communities.

Each class has lasted about 6 hours, no lie, and if I were to write everything I've learned it would take up a whole book. Among the most important things are the following:

Who are the experts? This is a game we played in class where 4 different groups tried to tell us what was inside a box. The first group could only see the closed box. The second group shook it and heard it. The third group put their hands in to feel things, but they were blind-folded so they couldn't see inside. The fourth group actually got to open the box and take things out to tell us what was in there.

The point of this game was to show us that the experts are the people who see, touch, hear, and feel the things inside the box. It's the same with a community. Tourist that simply walk by and take pictures aren't experts. Short-term missions trips that hear the community, but don't have enough time to build relationships and understand them aren't the experts. Missions teams like ours that spend time with the community and hear their stories, but are blinded by their own worldviews and thoughts aren't the experts. The actual community that experiences things together and sees their situation, feels it, and touches it are the real experts.

Before we can help anyone effectively, we have to know where they've been and where they are now. We have to know their history, their joys, their struggles, and their life experiences. We have to hear, see, touch, and feel what they feel. To fully enter into their community is impossible because we will always be outsiders. The solution, the real solution, can only be proposed by the community themselves because, after all, they are the experts.

Yesterday Francis took us outside to a dry spot on the ground and said, "I'm giving you five minutes to start a fire right here on this spot. Ready, set, go!". We all stood for a while wondering if he was serious and when we saw that he was we all scattered to find dry grass, sticks, and some sort of lighter or matches. Between the 53 of us we managed to find sticks and plenty of dry grass and someone somehow found a candle. We had some matches, but they weren't working well. Finally, after 7 minutes, Alex returned with a lighter and Eli started fanning the dry grass until it lit up and our fire started. Eli had to squat next to it for a while making sure the fire increased and was able to keep burning, but after a while he stood back and the fire continued to burn on its own.

Francis explained that this fire represents the work we do in communities. He mentioned to us that billions of dollars have been given to Africa in aid, but it continues to be the poorest continent of the world. Africa has reached the point where it suffers from aid more than it benefits because people have gotten used to getting free things and to having someone carry them. This isn't the correct way to help communities because we have given them the mentality that they have nothing and can do nothing and they need us because we know everything and we are their only way to survive.

The fire is the correct way to help because we provide a basis to start it, but after a while we slowly withdraw and the fire begins to burn on its own and it burns stronger every minute. The ideal way that Francis presented was for us to go to communities, hear their story, get to know them, and then share with them what we know while we also learn from them and help them reach a state of empowerment. No one in this world has nothing; everyone has something because God has placed everyone in a place where there are no resources. There are resources everywhere, but the problems is in how we manage these resources and how some people control them. Francis has worked throughout Africa and has found that communities can be empowered to realize that they are people who are worth something, who know something, and who can do something. We are just a helping hand, but the true change comes from within communities that work together to pull themselves out of poverty and to realize that they have small resources they can use to do something big and to improve their lifestyle.

Not all this wisdom has come from Francis; he referenced a lot of books in class and used the example of World Vision's technique, but, regardless of where it came from, these key points have been helpful for me to understand what my role is going to be in the community I will be working with. It's also been helpful because Francis is a very positive thinker and he has basically taught us how to see the positive side of things and to realize that there is a way out and a way to survive no matter what situation we're in.

God has taught me to rely on him and to see that there is hope in a world full of suffering. He's also taught me some basic steps in engagement with others and relationship-building. All of this has prepared me for today and for many tough situations I'm sure I will face soon.

I got an email today about a loved one back home that passed away. If any of you from SF are reading this please give Hna. Maribel a huge hug for me. It was a shock at first because I'm so far away that it almost feels like the email could be a mistake and what's really going on back home is not what I think. It was my first feeling of homesickness because I really want to be there to mourn together and to help each other move on because I know a big group of people that I know and love are being affected by this and because I know how tough it will be to go back in a couple of months and face the new situation. The family and the church is in my prayers and I'm so thankful to God for giving me a family and friends here in South Africa that are also praying for everyone back home.

"Surely God is with you, and there is no other; there is no other god" Isaiah 45:14
My comfort comes from knowing that God is with me here and God is with everyone back home and there is no one like our God. He is the same God that is with the communities in Africa. He'll lead us all through this life.

Oh the Things You Can Do

Thursday was the last day of finals and it was a relief to finally be done. Thursday night felt like a Friday night because everyone was planning fun things to do. I went with a group to Mugg and Bean to eat dinner/have amazing desert and coffee. After an interesting conversation filled with stories about embarrassing moments involving peeing your pants, adrenaline rushes in sports competitions and giving each other details about our lives before South Africa, Leslie and I decided we're related. We're not really related, but we know the same places in San Francisco because she used to live there too, we know people from each others' churches, and I really look like her cousin. It's amazing how I can meet someone on the other side of the world that went to high school 20 minutes down from my house a couple of years ago. After coming back home, we had a huge tournament of the card game called Nerds. It's a really intense and confusing game if you don't know what you're doing, but it's really fun to have two tables going at once and to keep track of points. People were sweating, throwing cards across the table, and Kohei was screaming in what I thought was Japanese, but later found out was just gibberish.

Friday morning we got on a really fancy and comfortable bus that even had a fridge in the back and we drove to a battlefield memorial. The bus driver mentioned that he was fully booked for the World Cup because his job is going to be to drive the Brazilian team to different stadiums! After that, it felt like we were sitting and sleeping on holy ground, well not really, but it was super cool and we took pictures on the same seats that the Brazilian team will sit on.

We drove to different battlefield tours that were sort of interesting, but they really just made me fell sad about how humans are constantly looking for ways to kill themselves and how we constantly let ourselves be driven by greed to the point where we almost lose our humanity and take the lives of someones' brother, father, or son. It was helpful in that I was able to see how respectful the African culture is because they honor both sides of the battle, even though the enemies were trying to steal their land. It was also cool to see how smart the tribes were and how well they knew the land and planned out tactics using natural facts that the foreigners would never know about.

Friday night we stayed in a legit hotel that's more than 100 years old. It's been reconstructed so that it looks like a first class hotel, but has also maintained it's antique look. The dinner was delicious and afterward Reg sat in the lounge and told us we could ask him anything we wanted. Most of the 53 of us gathered around him on couches in this cozy little lounge as he answered our questions about the bible, the culture of South Africa, and many other random topics. It felt like grandchildren were sitting around their grandfather listening to words of wisdom and it alleviated a lot of frustrations I had about certain issues.

Saturday was a good day, but not the best. We came back and then just hung out for a bit. We also watched the movie Slumdog Millionare.

Sunday was amazing because I went to God's Life Family Center, which is the church I've been attending lately, and afterward I went with a group of people to the pastor's house for a Braai. A Braai is the Afrikaans word for BBQ and it's the word everyone here uses. We went swimming, played cricket, and had an awesome meal. There were a couple of young people from the church there and we got to know them more. I've noticed that South Africans love meat because there were only 3 side dishes, but there were 4 different kinds of meat that we could choose from. Half of my plate was meat, but it was delicious.

It's Sunday night and we have once again started a Nerds tournament. We also played volleyball earlier and had Sunday Fun Day to start off a tournament that we're going to have among chalets. Each chalet has a name and a color and we're going to have random games to score points and fight for the ultimate prize. It's all in fun competition, but we're encouraging each other to have a lot of chalet spirit and it'll be fun to compete with the people we live in because it's a way to bond more. Overall, it was a good weekend and I'm feeling ready for this new week.

The Journey is Greater Than the Destination

It's finals week and most of our classes are finishing up. We've worked and worked these past few weeks like we've never worked with schoolwork before. Some days we had classes for 8 hours straight and other days we had up to 3 papers to write at the same time. A whole semester's worth of knowledge was forcing itself into our brains over the course of just a couple of weeks and it caused a lot of brain cramps, frustrations, and the need for fresh air, but we survived! How did we do it? Well there were several cups of caffeine involved, study sessions that lasted hours, and well a ton of books borrowed from the API library. There was also the strong bond of friendship because all 53 of us understood the word stress and all 53 of us understood the need for a study break.

We've had some good times these last couples of days and we've formed some interesting bonds. Some professors are so full of knowledge that it blows us away and fills us with questions. One girl, who shall remain nameless, even developed a crush on a professor (she said she was joking, maybe). Other professors have frustrated us and reminded us of the concept of respect with authority, but we've managed to get through it.

There were many interesting quotes read in books and spoken by professors and random people here, but one quote that stands out in my head right now is, "Sometimes the journey is more important than the destination". Sometimes it's not where you arrive that matters, but it's about how you got there. It's like that with anything in life. It's not about where you are academically, but about the questions you've wrestled with and the information you gathered to try and make sense of a subject. It's not about what friends you have and how you behave, but about what life experiences you've had and what you've struggled with and learned as you've grown into the person you are today. It's not about just being in Africa; it's about the relationships we've built, the issues we've had to overcome, the tears we've shed and the laughs that we've all had.

Last night at dinner some people randomly decided to put the table together into one huge table. It wasn't enough for everyone to fit so we put more tables together off to the side. As we all sat together I realized what an interesting community we've built. We're all far away from home and trying to adjust to a new place. We've all just experienced weeks of cramming information into our heads and trying to make sense of it all. We've all taken a leap of faith and asked God to somehow reveal himself to us on this trip. Next week, we're all going to start going out into communities and really experiencing South Africa through the townships, diseases, and hard work that we've never done before. We're going to be challenged to be uncomfortable and we're going to build relationships with people who are completely different from us, yet also strangely similar in some ways.

In a couple of months we're going to be back in the United States and people are going to ask: how was Africa? It's going to be such a difficult question to answer because answering it will imply answering how was your journey? how were those academic days? how were the relationships you built? how was the food you forced yourself to swallow because it was the only thing to eat? how was the wildlife you saw day to day? how were the people you met? how deep was the suffering you saw? how great was the joy of knowing God was there every step of the way?

It's not about being in South Africa; it's about the journey and everything that comes along with it.

Isaiah 45

I am the Lord, and there is no other; apart from me there is no God.
I am the Lord and there is no other.
There is no other; there is no other god.
I am the Lord, and there is no other.
There is no God apart from me.
There is none but me.
I am God, and there is no other.
In the Lord alone.


The sovereignty of God resonates throughout his word and his everlasting strength is seen in every corner of the earth. How many times do we have to listen to Him speak before we can hear Him? How many times do we have to witness His wonders before we can see Him?

I sat in chapel and counted every time God said there is no one like him in Isaiah 45 and every time I underlined that phrase, it struck deeper into my soul. As I continued to read I found some more lines that silenced any doubt or complain I might have against him


Though you have not acknowledged me.
I form the light and create the darkness.
I bring prosperity and create disaster.
Woe to him who quarrels with his Maker.
Does the clay say to the potter "what are you making?"
Do you question me about my children?
Do you give me orders about the work of my hands.
It is I who made the earth and created mankind upon it.
I have not said to Jacob's descendants "seek me in vain".
I, the Lord, speak the truth.
I declare what is right.
In the Lord alone are righteousness and strength.

After coming back from Lesotho I felt so guilty because I didn't buy a souvenir from one of the local villagers. It truly hurt my heart to know that I had decided to save my money for something better without realizing that buying something from her would provide her children with milk or tuition to attend school. I didn't realize that her needs are so much greater than my desires for fun and I didn't realize that she lives to survive.

The question that comes to mind when I encounter people like that is: why? Why do they live in small huts and suffer from the cold? Why can't they have enough to buy food? Why do the children in Lesotho play with sticks and stones while children in the US have isles of toys to choose from at the store? Why can't God just bring justice? The biggest question I've struggled with for years is: Why me? Why was I born into a family that could afford a little more than just survival? Why do I have enough to buy extra and not just work to eat? Why does God love me so much that He saves me and blesses me even when I don't acknowledge him?

Some of those Lesotho people are probably better followers of Christ than I am, so why doesn't God make us switch places because I don't deserve the goodness I encounter every morning when I wake up and they don't deserve the suffering they witness day by day. He is the Lord, and there is none but Him. Do I, as the clay, question the potter and question how the Maker of the universe decides to run things? No. I am no one to question God's authority and I am nothing to think that I could do something. God does not ask us to seek him in vain. When those Lesotho people seek Him, it is not in vain. When I seek Him, it is not in vain. For the Lord Almighty knows what great things He has in store for us. What we see now is a glimpse of His glory and we strive to work for His kingdom here on earth, but with everything else we just wait upon the Lord and trust that He knows what He is doing. One day every tongue will confess that He is God and we will see that there is no one else like Him.

He creates prosperity and He creates disaster. He is the Lord, and there is no one else. I can't give Him orders about the work of His hands. He is Lord.